By Stephen Torhaus
Optional Kids Practice
Invite kids in your group to be with the adults for a few minutes. Once they seem ready to engage, ask them the following prompt. If it is helpful, you can explain to the kids that the grown-ups are going to be talking about Silence and Solitude and you want to include them by talking about it with them for a few minutes.
- Most of the time when we’re awake, there is at least one other person around with whom we can talk, play, and work; but every day, there are also times when we are alone (e.g. bedtime, bathroom, waiting for the bus, etc.). What do you like to do or think about when you’re alone?
- While some people really do like spending lots of time by themselves, a lot of people would much rather spend most of their time with other people around. What do you do when you’re alone but don’t want to be?
Have an adult explain in their own words what’s helpful about times of solitude as a follower of Jesus.
Begin with prayer
Gather together as a Community in a comfortable setting. Take a moment in silence, in the presence of Jesus and each other. Have one person read Genesis 32:24 over the group and pause for a moment to reflect on the verse. Then pray to ask the Holy Spirit to lead and guide your time together.
Debrief the most recent teaching and practice
- Make space as needed for members of your Community to share how the sermon from the previous Sunday impacted them or discuss if there’s anything from it that they are wrestling with, then move on to Practice.
- Take some time for those who are willing to share one or more of their notes, themes, or realizations from last week’s Practice.
Read this overview
Perhaps the hardest part of Silence and Solitude is that all the thoughts, fears, and emotions that we don’t want to deal with have a habit of creeping up when we don’t have our busy schedules and handy distractions in front of us. This is partly the point, actually. You see, the Lord would probably like to sit with you amidst all these uncomfortable things, to bear them with you, and, in time, to ease your pain.
Of course, it’s not always like that. There are times of deep abiding, too, perhaps even an inside joke or two between you and the Most High. But these easier times are most prevalent primarily in the earliest stages of the practice. Sometimes, we have to persevere through a hard season before the practice gets easier again. With each challenge, we learn to follow the rhythm of moving between highs and lows, sometimes even within a single session.
Extra Resources:
Holy Silence, by J. Brent Bill; a book of reflection on silence from a Quaker perspective.
Finding Quiet, by J. P. Moreland; a helpful resource if anxiety or depression make practicing Silence and Solitude particularly difficult.
Discuss the following prompts
- What has been the most challenging part of your experience with Silence and Solitude? (If you are new to the practice or haven’t tried it yet, what’s the biggest obstacle to trying?)
- What has been the most rewarding part of your experience with Silence and Solitude? (If you are new to the practice or haven’t tried it yet, what do you most hope for if you were to start or continue?)
- In what ways do you hope to grow in your practice of Silence and Solitude? (You can answer either in terms of the discipline itself or your life outside the practice.)
Practicing right now:
If able, have your group do an imaginative reading of scripture using 1 Kings 19:9-12. The goal here is to allow the scene to play in your head, as though you are participating in the story, noting the different thoughts and feelings that arise in the process.
Call attention to the fact that not only is the Lord meeting with Elijah in a very solitary place, he also chooses to speak in a moment of quiet, in stark contrast with the preceding displays of shock and awe.
Read the passage in a translation of your choosing for familiarity and to help each member set the scene in their mind.
Provide a minute or two of silence before reading verse 13 followed by a brief pause. Then close with, “In the name of the Father, and of the Son, and of the Holy Spirit, Amen.”.
Practicing this week:
This week, you’ll set aside at least 3 times to practice Silence and Solitude. The encouragement is to do this for a minimum of 5 to 10 minutes each time. After each time, write down a quick note of any particular thoughts, emotions, or sensations that stood out to you. Do your best not to judge or evaluate the things you notice in terms of good or bad, right or wrong, simply notice and record.
If you have the time and recollection to do so, consider briefly reflecting on your notes before the next gathering of your community to see if you notice any recurring themes or patterns between the different times of Silence and Solitude. Share whatever you feel comfortable with your community.
Close in prayer
Depending on whether or how the “Practicing right now” exercise went, you may end by spending half a minute or so in silence, and then have someone pray over the group.